Far Caspian

On his new album Autofiction, Far Caspian’s Joel Johnston is learning to make peace with the cards he’s been dealt. Following his Crohn’s disease diagnosis in 2021, Johnston felt stuck mourning the loss of his life before, and struggling to cope with not only his new reality, but also an ongoing battle with OCD and anxiety. Autofiction finds the Irish musician discovering the tools he needs to keep moving forward. “I’m now at the point where I don’t really let it define me,” he says. “The lyric ‘your mind changed from a fear to a song’ [on ‘Lough’] is my expression of freedom: to no longer be held down by something you’ve got used to. I’m trying to not even make sense of it all, but just live in it, and be grateful for the things I do have.”

 

The lyrics across Autofiction—which dive deep into mental health burdens, self-forgiveness, recovery, and gratitude for supportive, uplifting partnership—are Johnston’s most direct, diaristic and literal to date. As such, it’s also his most vulnerable release yet. “I just wanted to get the message across,” he says. “People will sometimes comment on songs of mine saying ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’ I wanted to make a record that was a bit more heard. I even made my vocals louder than I usually do.” Freeing himself from any internal judgments or inhibitions, Johnston wrote songs for Autofiction with a simple motto: “I’m enjoying this right now and therefore it’s good enough.” The process helped him reconnect with the joy of music, the reason he started making it in the first place. It felt like the first time he made an album for himself, rather than an audience. “The fact that I was less self-critical and worried about others’ opinions–I think that’s why the lyrics became more straightforward. I didn’t feel the need to dress them up or hide behind something.”

Autofiction is an album that ultimately reconnected Johnston to his love of making music–a refreshed joy and sincerity that’s evident in every track. He shed expectations and pressures on his songwriting and in turn created the most authentic and striking album of his catalogue. Standing at the beginning of his thirties, he’s looking to move forward similarly in his personal life. “I was always told as a child that I was just a worrier—that was just my label. Eventually I decided not to believe that, to rid myself of that label and say ‘No, I don’t have to be. I can be brave, or whatever I need to be.’ I’ve found a bit more ease within myself.” Autofiction marks his choice to live in hope instead of fear and just enjoy the ride.